The Sensitivity of Addressing Saudi Women in Public

I recently came across a video on X where a middle-aged Saudi woman shared her thoughts on how men address women in professional settings. The clip shed light on a cultural nuance that many Saudi women find uncomfortable: being called “Khala” (maternal aunt) by men in service roles. Though intended as a sign of respect, the term often comes across as intrusive—and, at times, even dismissive.

In traditional contexts, “Khala” is used to address older women within one’s extended family or tight-knit community. But in modern public or work environments, its use by strangers—particularly younger men—can feel presumptuous. It implies both familiarity and a judgment about the woman’s age.

In practice, “Khala” is typically directed at women perceived to be over 45, while younger women are addressed as “Ukhti” (sister). This informal age marker has even become something of a running joke among Saudi women, many of whom recall the first time they were called “Khala” as an unofficial rite of passage.

A friend of mine summed it up bluntly: “On what basis does he assume I’m his Khala?” This frustration reflects a broader desire among Saudi women for more neutral and professional terms in public interactions—free of assumptions or unnecessary familiarity.

Interestingly, this trend seems to have gained momentum with the rise of Saudization, the national employment policy that brought more Saudi citizens into customer-facing service roles. Prior to this shift, foreign workers—particularly Egyptians and Lebanese—often used the term “madam,” which, while not personal, was widely accepted as professional and respectful.

Today, many Saudi male service workers default to “Khala,” a choice that may reflect gaps in customer service training rather than intentional disrespect. Similarly, some female service workers now use endearments like “sweetheart,” “darling,” or “lovely.” While such terms may sound friendly in other cultures, in Saudi settings they often feel unprofessional or overly familiar—especially in formal environments.

The woman in the video made an important point: while Saudi women have gained significant rights in recent years, aspects of social etiquette still lag behind. Her appeal was simple but necessary—she called on Saudi men, and by extension all service staff, to adopt a more neutral and respectful tone in public interactions.

This is more than a matter of personal taste; it speaks to the evolving standards of professionalism in Saudi Arabia. As the country continues to modernize, small but meaningful shifts in everyday language can help build a more inclusive and respectful environment for all.

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